FAITH

I am a Lutheran. That is the church I was brought up in. My brother was a Lutheran minister for a large part of his working career. I was very active in the church as a youth. I went to Sunday school and, as I grew older, I taught Sunday School to the younger kids. I attended Youth Group meetings weekly and later, in my early twenties, I represented my church and the other Lutheran churches in the province by attending meetings in Kitchener/Waterloo. For a brief moment I considered becoming a minister. When I was twenty-one I left for Ontario to go to school. That first year I attended some church events for youth, in London and again in Kitchener/Waterloo. I did not know many people so this was a good way for me to meet people.

Side Story - My first year at Fanshawe College, in London, I attended Monthly Spaghetti Suppers on Friday nights that where held at the home of the Lutheran youth minister near Western University. One Friday night he told us a friend of his was joining us for dinner. It was Bruce Cockburn. He did not play or talk that much but later, once I figured out who he was, I thought it was cool and that I had a good celebrity story to tell.

Now back to Faith. The image above is slightly deceiving but I must say it is my favorite Wham song. In the song the lyric are "You've got to have faith". And I wonder about that these days. When it comes to a higher power what happens to those of us who have lost faith? Over the last few months and years I have come to realize that a sense of "faith" and "spirituality" are important to one's mental health. Each night I pray to God not knowing for sure if what I am doing is making a difference or if my prayers are a waste of time.

It makes me sad. I remember being so full of faith when I was a teenager. I have a vivid imagination so what I am about to tell you may just be that but, in my memory, when I was about 15 or 16, I can remember being on an overnight youth event at our church. I think we were fasting for some reason, likely because it was lent, and we were also staying up as late as we could. I was alone in the church sitting in one of the pews. I had my eyes closed and was praying and I heard a voice that told me it was Jesus. I can't remember what the voice said but I do remember this "event. Again, I was fasting and it was 2 or 3 in the morning so who knows? But I carried that experience with me for many years. As I grew and became busy I strayed away from the church. Faith and spirituality became a stranger to me. I miss it.

I do believe in something but I am just not sure what. I get frustrated because of my situation with depression and my current place in life. I know I will not give up and perhaps someday, when I am ready, the voice will talk to me again.

And now, because it is a great song. Here's George Michael's in Wham and "Faith".