Am I Responsible?

Does being depressed make you irresponsible? The obvious answer is NO! But, I can tell you that I have spent many hours over the last 6 years looking inward and wondering ... did I do this to myself? It is a common thought that most depressed people have. You can see how your depression is effecting the people you love or your workmates and it is very easy to think that you are responsible for how they feel and what they are going through.

In my current situation I have made decisions that have effected everyone around me in the hopes that I can somehow get a better handle on my disease and to find a way to balance my life. Once balanced I hope that I can move towards better relationships and a better work to life ratio. I do feel responsible for my journey but I should not feel responsible for being depressed in the first place. This is not my fault. Not one bit. It's in my family. I have explored my past and have seen instances where it was depression and anxiety that were causing issues at those times.

Where I find myself today is at a new beginning. I have an opportunity to find more help and to help myself by learning to handle and live with the illness. Having a few days off is not enough. It may take me a few weeks or months to get a good start and build the foundation I need to survive. That is what I am responsible for. I will involve anyone who wants to support me. Anyone who just wants to be there when I need to talk or take a walk. My responsibilities and obligations as a contributor to my family and society are still important to me. It just may take a little time to get there.